It was in London about six years ago, in the winter. It was cold and terrible, as it sometimes happens there. And suddenly I decided that I had to get away immediately. I bought a plane ticket to some unknown Rio, in some incomprehensible Brazil. A day later, I found myself in a horrible, ragged hotel in the middle of a dark, rustling city. I was wearing dirty, ripped jeans (I tore them, caught on something on the plane), and two of my suitcases were lost by the wonderful airline TAP Portugal (stands for Take Another Plane). I did not speak a word of Portuguese (moreover, when you go to Brazil, everyone asks: do you speak at least Spanish? That's how far Brazil is from everywhere). For everything about everything, I had the phone number of a friend of a friend's cousin, who (the phone) talked to me like a starling answering machine - that there is no such number and is unknown. In my dirty, torn jeans and in my utter despair - what joy has I been brought here for? what will be tomorrow? - I went out into the street. I breathed in air. And then for some reason my head suddenly turned around my neck 360 degrees, and my eyes instantly saw a hundred things - all things at once.
The next day I already understood a little Portuguese, I already had 25 Carioc friends (that is, residents of Rio), I already bought myself all new (Brazilian) clothes and sharpened my surfboard on the main beach nearby with bigger waves, more fun.
A week later, I spoke Portuguese, almost married someone whom I barely remembered their name, and those who arrived five days later almost did not open their suitcases (and why, when such a new new life).
I never wanted to leave this city again, the January River city. Although I had to and have to. Therefore, my places of power in this city can easily be yours - you just need to relax the neck and so that the head can spin around the axis as much as a wasp.
And here is just one warning: I will not tell you here about the statue of Jesus Krishta (sounds almost like Krishna), about the Sugar Loaf, about this wave-like asphalt on Copacabana and about football players from Rio, don't even ask. You will tell yourself about this when you return from Rio.
Ghost School, Parque Lage
In fact, this is an art school. But 10 thousand visitors come to this school every day - because Escolde Artes Visuais do Parque Lage is also a miracle of nature - a weathered, but wondrously beautiful palace with excesses, which was built by a loving brother. a rich husband for a capricious it. the singing wife - she ordered to carry stones for construction from It., and then, when everything was built, sang once and, dissatisfied, perhaps, with the acoustics, sailed back to her It. - well, that's why people have been studying here since time immemorial art, and around the jungle (in Rio the jungle is intertwined with stone, and there is nothing more beautiful), and it is easy to see armadillos, monkeys and, of course, the main guys in the area - toucans. Sometimes they sit right on the balconies of the palace that was not accepted by the singer and senselessly knock on the now ancient Italian stones,as if tapping that time will pass, and the jungle will conquer back what was taken from them by man, but for now, yes, learn art, young artists, and we will knock and see, time is running much faster than minutes and hours.
By the way, I did two performances at Parque Lage. During one of them, a ripe persimmon was thrown at me - and I was sitting on a high pedestal, like a sculpture, right at the columns of the main entrance. During another, I was a floating platform in the Parque Lage pool - anyone could pull me by a rope attached to my neck, and then this person and I looked into each other's eyes to exhaustion, trying not to blink.
Monument favelas, Vigigal and Rosinha
Favelas, that is, huge hills on which people who came to work in the then capital of Brazil, each put a box for themselves to sleep (well, boxes have been standing for half a century already), in Rio there are more than a hundred. There are very few places where the gringo (you will be called that in Rio) can (and should) go. The most tourist one is Vidigal, you can't hear machine-gun bursts on it, and you can hardly buy drugs there now. Those who are not afraid of the myths and legends about the Carioca slums are supposed to go on an excursion to the main favela (250 thousand inhabitants) called Rosinha, where the funny fat American Zezinho (his mother is a hippark from New York, and his father - a bricklayer from Rocigny, it happened by chance) will arrange for you a 5-hour hike through the favela, looking through all the necessary doors and looking out for all the necessary views of Rio.
The Island Man, Luis Fernando Bispo
In the middle of a stinking cesspool (around - favelas and their sludge water) stands a man-made island where a celebrity lives. He dragged to this island: a trash can (he sleeps in it), a bunch of crumpled iron (he paints it), some nets (he entangled everything with them) and even half of the car (that's why this is, it's completely incomprehensible). The celebrity's name is Luis Bispo, and he went to all the most famous Brazilian talk shows and talked about his smelly bay (called Bahide Guanabara) and his island - and those who do not dream of going there by swimming, wading through vultures and masses of floating debris, can look at Luis from the bridge over the bay - on the way to Galeao airport or from there to Rio. They say, according to Luis Bispo, they are going to create a new model of urban human existence.
By the way, I walked across this bridge when I walked with my face covered with a kitchen sieve across Rio (I walked 7 hours along the most dangerous roads), repeating the path of the "tiger" slaves (they were so mockingly called, they growled in tension, trying not to spill what they had on their heads), who carried their masters' night vases across the city to the beach to pour into the ocean.
Not to be missed in Rio de Janeiro
- The main beach in the city is Posto 8 (the busiest public); closer to nature - Prainh (the best for surfing, from Copacabana it takes about 40 minutes by car, if no traffic jams).
- The main Michelin- starred restaurant Lasai (the chef's name is Rafa Costa-y-Silva, he is simply handsome, all his dishes are either sculptures or installations).
- The main waterfall is Cachoeir Paineiras in the Florestde Tijuca forest, in the heart of Rio. Penetrates chakras, leaves no trace of karma.
- The main galleries of modern art Gentil Carioc and GaleriAnitSchwartz. Both feature world-class artists from Rio and various important foreigners.
What to see and where to go in Rio
AmazoniSoul is the most important acai brew in southern Rio. (You have to ask for sim xarope, that is, without syrup.) Women believe that they have a booty from acai (an Amazon fruit, eaten in ice cream) (a big booty in Rio is an obligation). Men - that their wealth is growing. Children - what the acai eat Batman and Spiderman. I'm allergic to acai, but everyone else is bound to love it.
ZazBistro is a terribly pleasant restaurant on the corner of Joan Angelic and Prudente de Moraes streets. You have to sit in the street and watch as Ipanema passes you by. Almost everyone around will be foreigners, but that's okay, you still need to order tapioca, they don't cook it here, but conjure.
Osklen - shoes of incredible beauty, well, the clothes are also great - all come from Rio, by Oskar Metsavat, whose family is from Lithuania. Every time I go from Rio to Moscow, I work as a shuttle: all my friends want these sneakers, and now, with the current Brazilian crisis, they cost a penny. Oscar even laughs at me a little.
The Museu Do Amanha (Museum of Tomorrow), a home built last year by architect Calatrava, is one of Rio's most exciting new museums. The local director told me that children born in the last 5 years will, on average, live up to 120-150 years.
Circo Voador is an old circus in the middle of the Lapa district (where everyone must get there later in the evening - there is a rowdy samba and the best fake women of the city are sold there, there is fun), the main old people of the Brazilian stage sing there at least once a week - walking (and standing) monuments to themselves such as Maria Betania, Caetan Veloso, Gal Costa or Chic Bouarca. My life, like the life of most Brazilians, is impossible without them.
Bar Canastra is probably one of three hipster bars in Rio. Thanks to him, an unknown street of three houses in the middle of Ipanema became famous throughout Brazil. From Wednesday to Saturday, she is now made with tables so that people can drink wine and eat cheese. These people are very beautiful.
Photo: Getty Images, Mishanka, personal archive
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