Why Are We No Longer Afraid To Grow Old

“I think I'm getting younger every year,” my friend confessed to me. She turned 38, and I myself remembered her age only on the occasion of her birthday. Because lately we (that is, those who are barely thirty, and those who are almost forty) have been less and less discussing each other's age. And not because we don't want to offend each other, it's just that everyone somehow ceased to be interesting. When we were twenty, the numbers on the passport meant much more. Birthdays were milestones, a source of pride or anxiety, as if with each new date we had to pass the baton of the baton to some new version of ourselves - of course, with an eye on the achievements of our peers.

And today it is terribly unfashionable to talk about age (your own and, most importantly, someone else's). Most of the people I know have intuitively understood for a long time that personal data (everything - and how old you are, and marital status, and place of residence, and education) - is nothing more than a convention. This is no longer the measure of all things, which is why, by the way, it has become so difficult to fill out the questionnaires - it is completely incomprehensible how to answer the directly posed questions. Moreover, there are at least four types of age - biological (the state in which our body is really at the moment - blood vessels, muscle tone, skin, etc.), social (this is our social position - primarily professional status), intellectual and emotional. I believe that emotional intelligence is the ability to be aware of emotions, harmoniously combining reason and feelings, intuition and intelligence,and the ability to build relationships is the most objective assessment of how old you are. According to your passport, for example, already thirty-five, IQ is impressive, headhunters are hunting for your resume, but you still think and feel like a teenager. Which, in fact, is happening with a large number of modern thirty-year-old yuppies, not to mention the representatives of the Millennials generation - those who were born at the end of the last century. If even twenty or even ten years ago the cult of youth was relevant, now, in the era of mi-mi-mi and social networks, everyone is talking about an epidemic of infantilism. And this, as you know, is not a story about age at all.but you still think and feel like a teenager. Which, in fact, is happening with a large number of modern thirty-year-old yuppies, not to mention the representatives of the Millennials generation - those who were born at the end of the last century. If even twenty or even ten years ago the cult of youth was relevant, now, in the era of mi-mi-mi and social networks, everyone is talking about an epidemic of infantilism. And this, as you know, is not about age at all.but you still think and feel like a teenager. Which, in fact, is happening with a large number of modern thirty-year-old yuppies, not to mention the representatives of the Millennials generation - those who were born at the end of the last century. If even twenty or even ten years ago the cult of youth was relevant, now, in the era of “mi-mi-mi” and social networks, everyone is talking about an epidemic of infantilism. And this, as you know, is not a story about age at all.as you can imagine, the story is not about age at all.as you can imagine, the story is not about age at all.

Scientists predict that by 2050 the number of people on Earth who are over sixty will exceed the number of those who have not yet turned 15. Old people live long and are not particularly willing to deny themselves pleasure. But - stop! - are they old? The mother of my ex-Italian husband at the age of 74 decided to make her dream come true and began to learn French. At about the same age, she began going to a psychologist (to finally get rid of children's complexes) and signed up with her husband for weekly lectures on art history. Not to mention the fact that she knows much better than me the full range of the new Prad collection (which she has been wearing for many years and does not intend to give up this pleasant habit). In general, I can endlessly talk about elderly Europeans, whom my tongue will not turn to call old people, although this generation, which perfectly remembers the war,hunger, poverty.

But many of them have the correct, in my opinion, philosophy, the essence of which is that an active life continues at any age, regardless of the number of wrinkles and even the state of health, which is customary to complain about there much less than ours. Recently I was struck by another Italian woman - 76-year-old Giovanna Ferragamo, daughter of the founder of the Florentine house Salvatore Ferragamo, who is capable of giving odds to a whole regiment of young (according to passport) people in terms of energy level. She has four children, 12 grandchildren, and she still works without indulgence for herself - just like her mother, who even at 90 years old came every day to their family office-palazzo in Via Tornabuoni. When I asked Giovanna how to preserve her youth, she shrugged in response: "It doesn't matter how old you are, the main thing is how strong you are." And I'll never forget Bill from Miamiwhere I was a couple of years ago.

Sixty-five-year-old and completely gray-haired, a former professor at New York University, Bill was a sales assistant at a huge Apple store. When he described the merits of the new MacBook Air to me, his eyes burned like the boy's, with whom the girl first agreed to go on a date. I asked Bill if it bothers him that the average age of his fellow McGeniuses is 25. “When I retired, I immediately dumped out of New York here, in the warmth, and especially to hang out with these guys,” he replied. However, active and energetic - up to quite old age - we also have people, only fewer of them. My friend's grandmother died at 86. The reason is that in their old house in Zamoskvorechye there was an extremely protracted repair of elevators, and it became difficult for her to go down and up to the seventh floor in heels every day. Every day - because she lectured at the history department of Moscow State University. And she considered walking without heels disrespectful to herself and students. Energy - that is, an active lifestyle, a feeling of being needed, in demand, having inspiring hobbies, as well as regular communication - is what radically prolongs life. Well, good medicine, of course.

My generation is particularly fortunate. The social framework is getting smaller, and we can live as we want, not necessarily "according to age." Until recently, there was only one successful life scenario - school, college, marriage, work, retirement. And sleep. Now there are many options for self-realization, but about those who will look askance at you, we can say that they are simply envious. The word "infantile" has ceased to be offensive. At any age, you can start all over again. The main thing is how you feel about yourself and about life. Some of my friends are married (not always with a marriage certificate), some have divorced and enjoy a free life, and some have never been married. In Europe or America, they do not worry much about the latter. Although the pressure here and there is less and less. Many have an eloquent example before their eyes - their own parents.“My mother is 69 years old, she looks at 55, and she feels at most forty,” says my Parisian friend Alexandra. "Mom is an architect, she meets new people every day, every evening she has fun somewhere." Alex himself is 37, she has never been married, travels, has romances one crazier than the other. She is not against family and children - she says that perhaps the time has not yet come, and indeed this story is not for everyone. She is involved in charity work and claims that at the moment her children are numerous wards. “Recently I was on an airplane, and a young man began to actively pester me - he said that he was 25 and was sure that I was the same. I didn't try to dissuade him. It is important, by the way, how you dress, - adds Alexandra. - Parisian women, for example, know how to dress up to a very mature age almost like teenagers, but without a circus. And it suits them very much. Especially if you don't allow yourself to get fat.

Age is rapidly going out of fashion. Not only in Paris - all over the world, including Russia, today fifty-year-old women wear about the same thing as twenty-year-olds. Again, if the figure allows. In the beauty industry, the trend is gaining momentum not so much for anti-age cosmetics, which promise a radical rejuvenating result, but for products that help to ensure skin comfort at any age. More and more manufacturers do not hesitate to indicate on the packaging for which age group the product is intended - "45+", "55+" … I have a friend - she is 42, she is the mother of an adult son and looks at most thirty (without Botox and other invasive assistants - I know for sure!). She does not hide her official age from anyone. I asked her if she considered herself young. She looked at me in surprise and nodded affirmatively:“At twenty I was much more tired than now. For example, it costs me nothing to get up at seven in the morning, clean the apartment, cook dinner, go to work, and in the evening - to some other event. And when I come home around midnight, I don’t fall exhausted. On the contrary, interesting communication and an active lifestyle recharge me."

I noticed that now many people say so. Here is another note from my notebook (respondent - 38): “At twenty, my life was much more difficult than it is now. A lot of unsolved problems, depression - it seemed to me that nothing good would happen in life. But now everything is different: I learned to feel a connection with myself. And I manage my energy, so I hardly get tired."

At 25, too, my life was much more difficult than it is now, ten years later, I'm not talking about twenty. Everything went well with my career, and it was difficult to build relationships. I also don't feel the numbers in my passport - especially after I gave birth to a child a year ago. Now it seems to me that I am starting to live anew. And there is also more energy. I used to sleep until at least ten, but I still woke up tired. And I had no idea what it was like to get up at dawn, but now this is the norm for me. By the way, in Ayurveda it is believed that early childbirth makes a woman older, and later - after thirty - on the contrary, strengthens and rejuvenates the body.

To speak of a person as "young" or "old" is already indecent. There are much clearer criteria. For example, "energetic - sluggish" or "cheerful - depressive". These qualities can be possessed at any age. And this, like age once, is betrayed by the eyes - so you have to monitor your thoughts and, accordingly, your facial expression.

And as an epilogue: In the UK in 2013, Helen Fielding's third book about our beloved Bridget Jones was published - "Crazy About This Boy." In the first book, The Diary of Bridget Jones (1996), she is 32 years old. In the second - 37, roughly like the heroines of "Sex and the City" in the best years of this series. Now Bridget is 51 and she has a personal life. Because she is in her prime, just like many modern women at this age. We grew up with Bridget. When the next book comes out, this is exactly the same for a woman as for the representatives of the most active age group at the moment. In the 90s and early 2000s, the focus was on the thirties, today - those who are over forty and over fifty. They are in demand, sexy, they are in fashion. Cate Blanchett, Tilda Swinton are the main fashion icons now.

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