Several years ago in the United States, a book by the professor of psychology, Mira Kirschenbaum, director of the international center for psychological assistance at The Chestnut Hill Institute, "The Emotional Energy Factor", was heatedly discussed. Kirschenbaum, author of several best-selling books in popular psychology, analyzes his childhood experiences. She grew up in New York City in a poor immigrant family. “Mom and everyone who surrounded me as a child worked hard, 12 hours a day,” she writes. - Some also lived for wear and tear, in constant struggle, in anxiety, in self-pity and bitterness to the world. The eyes of such people were dim, like those of soldiers who had spent too much time on the battlefield. But there were also those among us who perceived everything in a completely different way. They dreamed, made plans and found the strength to carry them out. They had some kind of special inner energy, thanks to which they knew how not only to stay afloat, but also to be happy."
The cities and all their treasures go to the riders, who not only know where they are going, but also look around with interest, think and draw conclusions. Mira Kirshenbaum conducted research, interviewed many experts and found out that the secret of "high-voltage" - as she calls energetic people - in the high level of their emotional energy. To just function, you need to eat, drink and sleep. And to feel the fullness of life, you need a different fuel - drive, enthusiasm, lightness, butterflies in the stomach and fire in the eyes. Where, in fact, can we get this energy? How to accumulate it and how not to spend it on trifles? Here's what the author advises:
Build up positive energy every day
Emotional energy cannot be touched, but when it overflows, we actively use it and feel very acutely its lack. The Hindus call it prana, the Chinese call it qi, and the Buddhists call it kundalini. There is also mental energy, a derivative of emotional energy - this is the ability to analyze information, make decisions and come up with a strategy. Mental and emotional energy, according to Professor Kirshenbaum, is at least 70% of our vitality. The remaining 30% is gross physical energy that can be recharged with food and sleep. And emotional batteries need to be charged for two hours a day - this is exactly how long the professor recommends to do what personally brings you great pleasure. Works flawlessly!
Free yourself from foreign (parental) attitudes towards failure
There is a version that we are born with a predetermined level of energy, with a specific resource that helps to withstand difficulties, adapt to difficult circumstances and create. For some, this resource is huge, for others it is mediocre, and for others it is practically absent. In Eastern philosophy, this is called karma, and in Western psychology - a generic program.
Psychologists also believe that many of us waste a lot of energy in childhood. For example, through negative attitudes of parents (“You can't do anything”, “You are ugly,” “There is always little money,” etc.), which then turn into internal energy vampires. Therefore, if, for example, you have difficulty making decisions (which also takes up a lot of energy) or are afraid of change, ask yourself what or who is actually limiting you - whose (mother's? Father's?) Voice whispers all negative rubbish inside you …
But keep in mind: if there is no energy at all, this is already depression. She has three main features: slowing down of thinking (poor associations, hard to think), slowing down of movements (even facial expressions freeze) and bad mood. It is being treated - but it must be treated.
Stop playing multitasking
We waste an eerie amount of energy trying to do several things at the same time. At the same time, the quality of work is worthless, and unfinished business is eating away mental energy. Therefore, do only what is most important at the moment. This will not tire you - on the contrary, it will give you new strength, because any completed business adds positive emotions. First, do something small and easy (but always urgent!) - you will quickly finish it and enjoy the result. And if you never have time for something, then it doesn't matter to you and you don't want to do nonsense. By worrying about little things, we lose energy, and by doing things that are important to us, we save it.
Ayurveda believes that negative emotions - fear, anxiety and anger - create blocks in the body that prevent vital energy from flowing freely. When we are scared, the abdominal muscles almost always automatically contract - this tightens the solar plexus (in India this place is called "manipura" - the third chakra, which is responsible for our relationship with the world). If this happens often, a spasm is formed, which over time can give physical symptoms - in the stomach, intestines, chest and other muscle organs, the activity of which we are not able to consciously control, there is an inflammatory process and pain. By the way, more and more doctors are inclined to believe that migraine, asthma, high blood pressure, constipation, gastritis and other gastrointestinal disorders, osteochondrosis and many other common diseases are pure psychosomatics. So,easy to treat. No matter what family we were born in and no matter what childhood we have, the human body has incredible self-healing potential. To restore the free flow of energy, you need to learn to observe your emotions, be aware of them and not identify with them, especially if you do not like them.
Drive away energy vampires
Mira Kirshenbaum in her book calls such people toxic people (see also: How to recognize and neutralize toxic people). Energy vampires are, first of all, those who like to complain about health, lack of money, weather and gasoline prices. They tell you horrible stories about how they stabbed their acquaintances, distant acquaintances, they retell you the news from the NTV channel, they will definitely shoot the scene of the accident on their phone and immediately post the photos on Facebook. Bradbury even has a story about such people - "The Crowd" - they draw life out of the victim, and he dies. Another type of vampire is dramqueen. These are girls who create drama from an ordinary situation, heating up emotions for no reason. Since energy vampires, like blood, crave your attention and time (these can also be loved ones - for example, parents),after communicating with them, an incredible breakdown is almost always felt. If you have to come into contact with "toxic" from time to time, do not copy their gestures and manner of speaking. You are not them.
Do not strive to be ideal (daughter, wife, boss)
Mom calls the tenth time today, although tomorrow is on a business trip and you have a lot of things to do, but you - like a good daughter - pick up the phone. Babysitting gives you endless advice that you - as a polite person - listen to. Etc. Be kind, attentive, generous, but only if the person really needs your help, and you see the meaning in this, in which you sincerely believe (and he, accordingly, will nourish you with energy), and not just afraid that without it you will not be be in love. And be careful with perfectionism: too high a bar is a very energy-intensive thing.
Straighten up and start breathing correctly
Poor posture turns off the flow of happy energy … When we slouch, a lot of our energy goes into maintaining muscle grips. Even more energy leaks away if we also do not breathe correctly. Wrong - this is through the mouth (mouth - for food, not for air), superficially, and if the inhalation is longer than the exhalation (it should be the other way around, moreover, you need to breathe measuredly and better with your stomach). Back problems are usually a signal that there are unconscious energy blocks in the body, and the spine in this case acts as a shock absorber. You can get rid of body blocks with the help of yoga nidra (it is easy and pleasant, consists mainly of relaxing meditations), qigong gymnastics, tai chi, various techniques of conscious breathing - rebirthing, chakra and tantric breathing. You can also go to a good osteopath - they are all a bit psychologists, a bit sorcerers.
Talk less about your plans and promises
Sharing dreams is great, it can help you understand yourself and be even more inspired by your thoughts. But if you chat often and in detail about plans, goals and important projects - especially if you have not yet started their implementation - you will spill energy. It is not a fact that you will be jinxed, but a comment can be great to take away your enthusiasm. Also, when we talk too much about something, there is an illusory feeling that half the work has already been done. But it has not been done. And be careful with promises. Do not promise mountains of gold if you are not 100% sure that you can deliver them. Broken promises also drain energy.
Do not envy
It is absurd to look into someone else's life and evaluate one's own solvency through what others have. Everyone has his own path. From the outside, someone else's life may seem ideal, but who knows what really happens in people we envy. By comparing ourselves to others, we lose energy that we could have spent on solving our problems. Better to thank the universe for what you already have. Most likely, this is already a lot.
Learn to forgive yourself (in deeds, not in words)
Mira Kirshenbaum in her book advises the following: if you feel guilty - especially when it comes to something that happened in the past, and nothing has changed - stop “pumping” energy into this event and arrange your own judgment. Under what circumstances did you do this and not otherwise? Did you have a choice at all? Did you understand what you were doing? Forgive yourself, and if it doesn't work out, do something nice. And stop thinking about it. Regretting something, returning to the past - as well as endlessly dreaming about the future - we also waste emotional energy. Life exists only here and now.
Photo: Getty Images
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